Willpower is not a strategy and succumbing to pressure isn’t weakness.

To properly harness your force of will, you have to listen to yourself. You have to sort noise from weakness and when your body gives you signals, you need to listen to them.

Most of the time we do not fail because we can’t do what our goals require from us. When you pare things down to the bear essentials of what moves us closer to what we’re trying to accomplish, all that’s required is repetition and consistency over time. We will get to our destination one way or another if we are consistent.

Most failure results from what change stirs up within us. Layers of dust buried deep within the psyche are disturbed and we find ourselves barely able to breathe. It’s in that moment the choice is made – do we run from ourselves or do we transmute what has stifled us?

And mind you – doubling down and pushing even harder is a way of avoiding ourselves. It’s rare someone gains enough velocity to change their lives by simply pushing harder. It often stems from a desire to make the discomfort we feel pass and pass quickly, but what it actually does is take a stressed nervous system and push it to the breaking point. It makes us numb and resets the clock and should we continue, it will be after we’ve taken several steps back and we’ve recovered from the fallout.

Real change is not quick or sexy. There are no hacks or shortcuts. Indeed, taking a shortcut is the longest road to any destination. There is no path where you will not meet yourself. Preparing for that meeting without willing yourself to suffer unnecessarily nor wishing away the unpleasant feelings that rise and demand your attention is the surest path to your success.

Even if you fail at your goal, you stand to get the most out of the process if you use it as an opportunity to expand your skills, gain self-knowledge and integrate things that have been cast to the edges of your psyche.

Meet yourself with compassion and without excuses – taking responsibility for what you are responsible for and releasing what is outside your control. Grieve where necessary. That grief tills the soil for new growth and allows you to move forward in wholeness.

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