The following was written by a good friend of mine. I am cross-posting her articles here to ensure that they will always be on the internet and that her words will always have a way of reaching her intended audience. She has struggled immensely in her own life with family who failed to support her – who abused her instead of offering the love and care she provided them. Her alchemies run deep, and she has a perspective like no one else – a perspective I have decided to share with my audience. These articles date years back and through them you will see a firsthand snapshot of a remarkable woman’s growth.

-Eric

Humans take their own viewpoints seriously. In fact, some folks kill and/or die in order to perpetuate their beliefs.

But I don’t see the appeal. See, I am blessed with a shared perspective. That is to say that my point of view comes from multiple angles. My outlook is layered. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

One’s perspective is a big deal, no matter how complex it might become.

Here’s the thing, though. Beliefs are basically a component of one’s mindset. The problem is that beliefs can have a profoundly limiting nature, especially when you hold on to them tightly.

On top of that, people’s outlook on life tends to be quite narrow-minded. Every once in a while, someone tries their damndest to lecture me into submission. You know, trying to wave their opinion around as if it’s an absolute fact, and getting irate when I don’t stop having my own perspective.

I don’t get it. I get their point, but it’s often rather insignificant. There’s just a gazillion other aspects that play a role. And fixating on one thing fails to increase its importance. In fact, it kinda distorts everything.

In many cases, one’s views aren’t really based on a whole lot. Sometimes, people have tunnel-vision. In which case, it’s impossible to comprehend much on any meaningful level. Mostly because of how much actuality is missing in order to cater to some insecurities, or brainwashing, or whatever. (Been there, done all of that.)

Glad my multi-level frame of reference reveals dangers like that. (Especially when I listen.)

Here is what I can reveal about my -uh- I mean our layered perspective. To be clear, this isn’t so much about multiplicity, as it is exploring our (my) shared point of view together. As one.

Many Things Are True Simultaneously

Perspectives are just a culmination of aspects that come together. More often than not, (probably) there will be opposing elements.

Nothing would survive if one trait was the only valid one. Everything would die. (Including you.) All of Life would perish from the impossible selfishness of that one characteristic. (Is that what you want?)

Similarly, nothing would thrive if every characteristic in Life was forced to conform into a single trait. There would be no food without water and sun, after all.

On another note, conformity doesn’t usually lead to growth and expansion. It frequently leads to death, of sorts. Sometimes, literally. Sometimes it feasts on your soul as you wither away first. Maybe one reason for that is how restrictive conformity gets. It’s like being squeezed into a tiny, worn out box that you clearly don’t fit in.

To reiterate, there is always an incomprehensible number of aspects at play. In your life. In all of society. Even within your awareness.

Each serves a specific purpose.

It’s painful to have your purpose beaten out of you so you can pretend to be something else, right? Something tells me that’s likely true for, like, everything. Including your emotions, outlooks, and whatnot.

Actuality tends to be rather paradoxical, maybe because it is made by a zillion smaller points. Kinda like the countless points sewn together into a single sweater. Actually, yea. There are a lot of polar things happening in a sweater, if you think about it. Hmmm. Anyway…

What is (truly) honest is real. You know?

One Aspect Does Not Negate the Other

As far as we can tell, it’s “normal” to assume that one thing is proven false if something else is proven true. Or that one facet is invalidated because there’s another talking point to explore.

It doesn’t have to be like that. In fact, it’s not. Not really. We can just sometimes think it is, for whatever reason. We, as a society, kinda make it that way. (The good news is that we can make some much-needed adjustments in our communication with one another.)

The thing is the truth doesn’t change just because some other characteristic is also factual. Point A is still true if points B, C, and F are also honest. Spiders don’t cease to exist just because snakes are also present on Earth. You know?

Things that seem quite oppositional coexist all the time. Sure, there is conflict sometimes. But not always.

Sometimes there is harmony because each individual aspect is free to openly be, as long as there is mutual respect. (In this context, especially.)

There are no power dynamics here. There doesn’t need to be. (As far as seeing from multiple points of view goes.)

That’s because Life itself needs all its contrast.

More often than not, actually, one thing cannot exist without its apparent opposite.

Difficulties With A Shared Perspective (With Multiple Parts)

As you might imagine, having a worldview that is made up of several parts (including your conditioning, once in a while) is sometimes a chaotic mess.

It’s not easy. First off, my ego has a hard time with it. Let’s just say he freaks out a lot. He gets scared, and angry, and stuff. Which is not all that fun. Like at all. (Until it is, maybe.)

On top of that, it’s a headache. Literally. Sometimes. It depends how loud it gets, I guess.

But no. It also depends on how I respond, too. Some things these parts of mine tell me drive me insane.

They give me memories I have to take back. And they explain things in at least four different ways, until it penetrates past the gatekeeper brain part, or whatever. I don’t know the actual mechanics.

The point is, it can get incredibly overwhelming and exhausting. Very easily. Shared perspectives can also be painfully confusing at times for me too. I mean, as the one who is kinda in the center of it all. It’s like standing in the middle of a cyclone sometimes

My complex, intertwined point of view can get demanding and pretty intense. But there’s another challenge that I find most annoying.

Demands of Several Vantage Points And “Choosing A Side”

Today’s social climate dictates that you constantly pick a side. About freaking everything.

You need an opinion on that person, that issue, and on that thing you don’t actually know anything about.

If not, you’re a hypocrite. Or a bad person. A bigot, some sort of phobic, or you’re now all flip-floppy.

Pick a damn side. And stick to it (for long enough, apparently.)

We ain’t no politician. I’m not making promises I intend on breaking after I’m elected to office.

So no. We won’t do that, probably. See, we’ve recognized truth far beyond “our side” on several occasions. And it’s not because we were necessarily wrong in the first place. It’s really due to simply learning more, growing as a person, and knowing that life is not one thing or the other. Truth be told, it’s likely both. And then some.

(In many cases, anyway. I’m not referring to trauma here, just to be clear. That might benefit from a little more focus on the traumatized, actually. On second thought, let’s just say depending. Either way, it’s definitely worth noting.)

Besides, choosing a side (or clinging too tightly to labels) is choosing to stick to a narrative, and never dare to venture beyond it. That’s not honesty. That’s your ego’s messy attempt to organize your identity on a low budget.

Honesty is allowing the whole truth, as it is.

There is no “choosing” here. It’s simply witnessing what is, and allowing it to be. Still, as you might imagine, seeing (and subsequently accepting) various points of actuality can get excruciatingly intense. But it’s been worth it. (Even if it does take a while to realize that.)

Benefits of (My) Layered Point of View

My layered perspective can get rather chaotic, but it’s also pretty useful, too.

For one thing, I’m open to various perspectives. Mostly because I don’t have much of a choice. Not as a multiple. That took tons of practice, admittedly. Still, it ignites curiosity and more understanding, simultaneously. What’s not to love about that?

Plus, it helps me connect dots, and explore many exciting avenues. At least as far as cognizance goes, anyway. One aspect knows what another does not, basically.

Another reason I’m grateful for my multiplized (like that word?) frame of reference is that it kinda screws with my ego. Especially with my conditioning.

It gets confused, and shrinks that much more when I peacefully allow several perspectives. But, man, that process is, um, insane!

Plus, we’re not tied to one outlook. We don’t have to be loyal to any notion. If one of my parts clings to some virtue, or concept, they can. If that’s their thing, that’s their thing. It’s okay. No biggie. (They’re “parts” for a reason, anyway, right?)

Although there is a rare occasion where the two elements argue for a bit. Eventually, though, I understand both parts.

And I still don’t usually have to “pick a side.” (Which can be so freeing, by the way.) Actually, understanding both sides often creates a middle avenue we all can stand on. In other words, we find some kind of happy compromise, when necessary.

But, it’s not needed. Not usually. Not for observations and insights. We like to hear it.

(That’s actually only honest, though, if the conversation is mutually expansive, most of the time.)

Validating Conflicting Traits As Your Own Mediator

Sometimes my internal chatter can seem rather freakin ‘heated.

I’m so glad I was a mediator since the sixth grade in school. I never knew I’d need those skills so intimately. I was just trying to look good, and it stuck. Sometimes things work out.

Well, it’s not exactly the same thing. Like at all, really. The meetings aren’t about bullies in the school hallway and eighth grade misunderstandings. Now the ‘meetings’ are more about Divinity, and deep sorrow, and combining the two. Often, anyway, although sometimes the agenda is focused on something else.

Still, I did get to practice the act of mediation. I got to play with that energy, I suppose. I learned how to do it, even if the process has changed. (Oddly enough, perhaps.)

I still have to listen to all sides. Preferably with patience, if not empathetic understanding. There is sometimes a conflict, but that’s usually with me. Um, nevermind. I have no idea how to word that. As I’ve mentioned, conflict between my parts is rare. (There are caveats, but I’m gonna keep on topic.)

Either way, I might get snappy with my parts, at times. That’s just another way of saying that I can get irritated with myself sometimes. But my (core) parts barely argue with one another.

Beliefs and Opinions, and Objectivity

There’s this school of thought which suggests you shouldn’t have beliefs.

Which, I see the irony. That’s a belief, is it not?

Still, I find a lot of validity to it. (Irony is the gods’ favorite trope, it seems.)

I mean, I totally have beliefs, opinions, and such. Of course. But not as much as before.

Beliefs are just a certain form of opinion. And opinions are just some take on something.

It’s not having opinions or beliefs that can be so problematic. It’s holding on to them with fierce, misguided conviction. Basically, it’s devoting yourself to brainwashing, if we’re gonna get to the nitty-gritty.

Essentially, opinions bound you to cheap rhetoric that would likely fall apart as with minimal objective scrutiny. So, basically, an unwavering stance may not be so admirable, after all. Sometimes it’s just programming. (That’s why questions are important.)

That One Time I Limited Myself To A Single Part

I’m going to grossly oversimplify this, but here it goes.

My dark side saved me. She was the last authentic part I had left. And she eventually reunited me with the rest of my parts. (As the quick and dirty version, that’s close enough.)

But in the process of all that, of course, there was only ‘her.’ (No names.) I “was” only one aspect of me.

And I felt it. I yearned for what I thought was in me, but couldn’t find it. I had only my trauma responses and my lit darkness trying to battle it, alone.

We got pretty dark, to say the least.

Don’t be mistaken now. I love my little darkling(s). I am thrilled when she/they (yea, I know) comes front and center with me. I know I will probably deeply enjoy our time together. Either that, or I’ll be forced to grow. And it’s probably hurt. At any rate, it’s unforgettable.

Still, I’m glad my, let’s just say, inner goth girl doesn’t “stick around” as long. I deeply miss her when she doesn’t show her face often, though. I love her, and I appreciate, eventually, every second I get with my non-”implanted” darkness. (The “darkness” that was given to me is .. we’re working through it. Just saying two different things. Well…Nevermind.)

My inner night-child isn’t as stressed out anymore. That’s because I’m no longer leaning solely on her. She gets room to do her thing, so to speak. My other parts are happy (and relieved) because they get my attention, too. And I am blessed because I get to know my core parts deeper. In other words, I get to know more of me.

Here are a few lessons from that complicated experience:

1. What is neglected suffers
2. Those who are strong grow tired
3. Too much focus one one aspect is exhausting, unsustainable, and ultimately devastating (maybe on both, if it’s like that.)
4. True authenticity requires all parts (or as many as possible at the time. Whatever the case is.)
5. If you’re focusing on one thing, you’re not paying attention to something else.
6. Sometimes pain brings blessings
7. Never define yourself by one thing, no matter what it is

The Truth Is Multifaceted

The truth comes from numerous angles. And various depths. And a lot of other um, sources, (if that works) too.

Truth is not a single, flat level. It’s not (only) a nice stroll.

There is variance in honest actuality. That’s all we’re saying here.

To hold on to one level, or aspect, is to shut out the rest of the whole story. All the other characteristics and such suffocate under the weight of neglect.

And the last time I checked, denial and/or ignorance is not your friend. More times than not, it’s wicked, actually.

I’m thankful to let go of strong opinions (on a lot of things). Overall, I deeply appreciated my layered, or shared, perspective. Because of that, I recognize corny opinions pretending to be absolute.

Beyond all those stupid games lies actual truth. And I get to see more of that because of various frames of reference.