The following was written by a good friend of mine. I am cross-posting her articles here to ensure that they will always be on the internet and that her words will always have a way of reaching her intended audience. She has struggled immensely in her own life with family who failed to support her – who abused her instead of offering the love and care she provided them. Her alchemies run deep, and she has a perspective like no one else – a perspective I have decided to share with my audience. These articles date years back and through them you will see a firsthand snapshot of a remarkable woman’s growth.

-Eric

A magical, hardworking fairy resides in my soul. She is usually in our little internal garden frolicking about. Yet, Willow is also very much a part of me.

In clinical terms, experts called a “non-functional.”

A non-functional? My soul is so vast, it’s impossible to clearly convey. Am I supposed to believe that a part that has stuck with me for years as a fluke? That she has no purpose?

Well, the truth is, it certainly did seem like that for a long time.

Yes, she dances around her (our internal) garden all day, watering plants and conversing with the creatures there. (I assume. I’ve never seen any critters.) She is always smiling.

My Willow radiates light so bright, it blinded me when I first discovered her. (However that works.)

Back to the point. A few weeks ago, I had an experience with Willow. She didn’t really do anything. My camera view focused on her, at a depth unlike anything before. I learned that she, in fact, does serve a consequential purpose.

All my parts serve some objective, even if that function is not yet discovered. Otherwise, why would they exist at all- even in non-physical realms?

While in this unique view of Willow, I saw deeper into our inner garden. I remembered, vividly- beyond conception, that she is I, and I am her. My soul parts are just that- MY soul parts, after all.

I knew Willow, my garden fairy, played a vital role in my inner world. She was not just “some lost positive energy keeping the garden pretty,” as I used to describe her.

When I wake up in the morning, more often than not, I have a mental purge. My conditioning is trying to be, uh, conditioned. The trauma plays its recordings. Something like that.

My brain plays what it feels is expected. Fear is activated, guards go up, and I have to consciously work through that before starting my day. Otherwise, it controls me.

Yet sometimes, like this morning, my higher mind (the mind that aids my soul and has nothing to do with what I’ve been taught) also has its presentation.

They fight, and my awareness solely determines the winner.

This morning, my higher mind reminded me to find gratitude, which I achieved. Then I read something about nurturing positive, loving light in your internal garden. It will be fruitful, one day. And it will feed you.

I hope they are seeds of love. But, you will be poisoned by unloving energy, if you do not nip the toxicity in the bud, or clean it, somehow.

In any garden, weeds try to take over, and they fight for the nutrients and energy to win, and to grow into fruition. Of course, an analogy we’ve all heard hundreds of times, positive thoughts and energy grow beauty (the food and the flowers) while negative, or belittling thoughts, nourish the weeds.

In negativity, obviously, the weeds invade and take over. They choke your glory, in other words.

This time, for whatever reason, it hit me so bluntly, there was no room for questioning. Willow has been working hard in our internal garden. She has spent years ripping out the invasive weeds, purifying our soul (as well as our soil), and giving our seeds the love and light they need to bloom.

It seems her work is never done. Still, Willow works diligently, without apology.

Miraculously, I’ve never seen any expression on her face other than pure joy, and she doesn’t have the ability to lie. My inner fairy dances about because she is a source of light that we so desperately need, especially considering our external world of malignant darkness.

She is more than my internal garden keeper, she is a warrior in her own right.

Willow is nonverbal, but she does speak to me. Not through words, but through her love.

She tends to my internal garden, to her garden, to our garden. And she does so with unyielding patience, grace, and love. In her absence, our garden would have decayed into death a long time ago.

Without her, I would have fallen, and been possessed by necrotic hate. In a way, my Willow saved me. She saved all of me. And we/I thank her.

This isn’t about multiple personalities, or whatever. It’s far deeper than that.

You may not have a “Willow,” or an internal fairy frolicking about, within your consciousness. But you do have an inner garden, of some form or another. (Even if it is just a metaphor.) It needs you to tend to it.

It could be dying without your attention. What if it’s growing poison?

Or, it could be nurturing your love and growth. Your freedom.

What is growing in your garden? You can’t know until you look.